September inspo

INSPIRATION OF THE MONTH

Every end of the month I’ll present an artist/maker/doer/thinker/concept/happening that gives me lyfe right now. I hope you’ll find something new here or something that resonates. If you have something cooking and you want to participate I’m always open for recommendations and dialogue! Sharing is caring.

SEPTEMBER 2018 INSPO & LYFE GIVER:

Since we were kids I’ve always admired the depth of this one. She’s been my forest sister, energy partner and a role model. The frequencies she’s at are something else, another level you might say. The stories she’s full of will amaze you. An oracle, prophet, an inspiration. Take a look and stay tuned for her up coming work.  I wouldn’t miss this.

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Tuuti Piippo | writer, storyteller, visual artist

1. Who are you and watcha doin’?

That’s what I ask myself every day! The answers keep changing, though. I haven’t found a box that fits during the soon 33 years I’ve been here on Earth (except maybe ’consciousness moving around in a complex and hilarious skin suit’). Okay, but: I have spent a lot of time telling stories. I studied journalism and creative leadership, used to make magazines, and have published a couple of nonfiction books. I’ve worked in games and health tech in Helsinki and San Francisco and sometimes speak publicly about people who are creating the future. I have edited books, helped other authors to write them, translated one, and somehow become a partner at a publishing company. I’ve also been taking photos and playing with the arts for as long as I can remember, and that has become an even clearer passion, direction and channel of expression lately.

2. What does storytelling mean to you?

Plunging right into the deep end, I see. Storytelling is one of the most powerful tools ever created. You can turn your worst failure into an epic growth journey by telling the story from a different perspective.

Besides being my craft and life’s work, I think stories are how we make sense of the world and what we are built of as human beings, no less. I see us as a kind of storytelling species. Our brain creates narratives continuously, and they’re usually pretty much fiction. It’s nature’s genius to build beings this way, because we remember stories and learn through them really well. That also means that stories are incredibly persuasive. Knowing this, I try to be mindful of the stories I tell myself every day, the ones I read/hear/watch, and especially the ones I tell others. They carry meanings, values and feelings on so many levels in a way that’s very tempting for our brain to just believe and lock onto. I think that’s why humans have preserved knowledge through stories since ancient times.

I really love mythology and would just dive deep into the world of creation myths and epic poetry of different cultures forever if I could. It’s extremely fascinating how we can step into anyone’s experience through a carefully crafted story. It’s such a holistic way of transmitting consciousness from one being to another, sometimes through millennia.

3. What is an ideal place to write?
I’ve been writing in my mind most of my life, so that always seems ideal.. But seriously, I think any place that allows you to hear whatever is going on inside. I seem to write a lot of my raw thoughts and notes in bed. When I need to finish a bigger thing, like a book, it’s easier to set up somewhere that doesn’t have the usual daily distractions of home. It could be a cafe, cottage, office or someone else’s home. Somewhere you can take walks between focused writing sessions. My dream is a cabin somewhere in the mountains near water.
4. You create with lot of different kinds of tools and people – what would be your ideal setting for a new work?

This is a huge question! I love to work with people who have mastered disciplines or skillsets different from mine, but who stay curious and eager to grow, so we can learn from each other as much as possible. Right now I’m working on a book with a world-class pioneer in mindfulness. It’s mind-blowing to watch and listen to someone who has decades of experience in noticing the movements of their mind-body and treating them with kindness. That awareness is something I really value, respect and work on myself, too. (I wish everyone would.)

So the setting always begins with people and the rest is created together. I’m fascinated by directing video work now and looking forward to learning from different professionals through it, whether it’s dance, music, poetry, documentary or something entirely different. I’d also like to learn more about making VR experiences. There are worlds in my mind waiting to be created and I thought for a long time that they’d surely be books. But I think they need to be born through a new combination of channels and tools that allow me to combine the skills and experience that only I have.

5. What moves you right now?

The indescribable, inexpressible, unutterable (I love these words) because it’s a challenge. Paradoxically, at the moment, I’m most moved by allowing myself to be with and feel whatever is. Practicing to give space to the state where I’m not trying to change or fix anything, just noticing. It’s harder than it sounds. Of course, it’s an ancient and life-long practice.

On a different level: cats, coffee, and honest conversations move me. As well as the astonishment I feel when I look at what’s happening in the world and realize that despite the apparent stupidity of human beings, we have managed to build civilizations, communities, cultures, and create all this amazing art, science and technology for centuries. How is that even possible?

6.  Do you consider something as a taboo for a story or a theme in a video work at this period of time?

Oh, sure! Every culture has their taboos, and stories are a great way to open them up. With my first book, for example, the driving force was that we didn’t see enough public conversation about learning from failure, so we wanted to nudge it by sharing Finnish influencers’ failure stories – showing that it’s okay to talk about it.

I don’t think much about intentionally breaking taboos with what I do and make now, but I sometimes ask myself: What are the things I feel like I could never say, write or express? It’s a powerful question. I think it was one of the questions that led me to explore femininity and the norms and taboos around being a woman. Many of them have been broken in the past few years, thankfully, but globally (and internally!) there’s tons of work to do. I’ve dabbled in the waters of the fierce/angry feminine, studying the Kali-like powers of creation and destruction, and those themes will probably fascinate and pour through me as long as we have a hard time understanding that consciousness, loving gentleness and raw head-dropping fierceness can coexist (and that they do, and they must). We need more Little Mys, Lisbeth Salanders, and Shuris for that.

 

7. What makes this particular time special for you as an artist?

I feel like transformative times like these hold a special call for us sensitive beings, the introverts, the quiet misfits and hidden rebellious souls to surface and release their wisdom and seeing into the world. Because this time shows us clearly that the loud, aggressive, overly masculine ideals we’ve nurtured for a long time haven’t worked that well for the whole. Luckily there are more ways and channels to express and publish through than ever before. It creates opportunities for a lot of different thinkers and makers, and we all benefit. (I have a lot of respect for the word ’artist’ and feel like I haven’t earned it at all, but thank you, and maybe this way of thinking is just one of the many skins that could already be shed.)

8. Do you have any tips for this autumn in Helsinki?

Even though there’s the growing (magnificent) opportunity to stay home and do all the hygge things, I still try to go out for long walks by the sea and really take in all the light, color, fragrance and life that will be mostly hidden under darkness during the winter months. It’s free, good for you on many levels (says science), takes you out of the vortex of screens and sometimes results in a wild gush of new ideas.

IG: @tuutipiippo

Here’s something we did together last month:

Katti Meu – Ei Kenenkään

 

 

August Inspo

INSPIRATION OF THE MONTH

Every end of the month I’ll present an artist/maker/doer/thinker/concept/happening that gives me lyfe right now. I hope you’ll find something new here or something that resonates. If you have something cooking and you want to participate I’m always open for recommendations and dialogue! Sharing is caring.

AUGUST 2018 INSPO & LYFE GIVER:

This gorgeous one is definitely one of my favourite techno heads in the whole wide world. Although we first met in the dance studio – actually in a ballet class! – we found our deeper connection through the music we both love: techno.  Nowadays we have our meetings in the sauna and we also organise YOGA UG, a yoga sessions in a club to the techno music she plays live and I facilitate, together in various events with something new always bubbling under. If you haven’t heard her play yet – now it’s definitely the time!

Elisa Kaivanto DJ Eikai | DJ, producer

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1. Who are you and watcha doin’?

I’m Elisa Kaivanto, people might also know me by my dj alias Eikai. I started djing back in 2013 quite soon after I heard a mind blowing set by Maya Jane Coles at Sonar Festival in Barcelona. I’ve been a huge lover of electronic music since early 2000’s, but somehow the energy I got from that gig encouraged me to finally move behind the decks too. I play mainly hypnotic, atmospheric and loud techno at my club gigs but I am also a big admirer of dub techno and ambient. Therefore I am really pleased to have a chance to play also these genres at Yoga UG sessions. I’ve recently focused on producing my own music and of course constantly searching new inspirational tracks to play. On top of this I also try to work and study simultaneously so my life is quite full of things at the moment. Still loving it though!

2. What made you fall in love with techno?
I think it all started at Koneisto 2003. Before that I had listened to all kinds of electronic music and gone to some parties but this was the first electronic music festival I went to. I totally fell in love with the rave culture and I felt that I belong here with all these people, dancing. I think I fell in love with the freedom that the music made me feel. Rave culture is all about love and respect and accepting people as they are, you can step onto the dance floor and you don’t have to hide anything, there are no rules, you can be yourself and no one will judge you. Techno is something that people share together. Dancing for hours to a hypnotic rhythm is also a purifying experience. Later I fell in love with the underground techno culture, I think Entropy’s UV/UG 2004 underground party at Telakka Studios was a certain milestone here. I fell in love with the atmosphere of dark and smoky warehouses, flashing strobes, music banging all around you. As a musical genre techno is close to my heart with its dark rhythm and trippy, hypnotic feeling. It makes me feel alive. I even remember saying to my friends sometime back in 2006 that good techno is a reason to live. 
3. Sounds that you choose to play feel sometimes very physical, what does body and movement mean to you?
Body and movement mean everything to me, I am a very physical person. Dance has played a huge role in my life since early age and I instantly start to feel bad if I don’t move. I actually was dedicated to become a professional dancer back in 2004 but things did not go as planned. Luckily you can do it in other ways and you do not have to be a professional to be able to dance. In my music I usually select tunes based on what the tune makes me feel. Many times the feeling I’m after is to make me want to move my body. I guess that’s why the music sounds physical. 
4. What has been your favourite gig?

Shit, this is a tough one! Every gig has its unique feeling and they all are special in their own way. But if I have to name one, I think my favourite one was at a HYTKY underground party in Cirko at Suvilahti in March 2017. It was an early morning set and the ravers were all warmed up, Cirko was crowded and people were dancing and cheering and smiling throughout my set. It made me feel happy and I had so much fun.

5. What is the status on female DJs and producers in techno scene? Is there platforms for female talent nowadays? 
I think this has gone waaaaaay more forward during these years I have been active. Loads of  new talented female artists have emerged in techno scene and in all other electronic music scenes as well. This has definitely been an era of female artists. There has been vivid discussion about discrimination and misogynism throughout the electronic music scene recently and I think it has pushed things forward. Big and small clubs and festivals want to promote visibility of female artists and help them to stand out and give them equal opportunities. So yes, there are platforms and the status of female DJs and producers has never been better. Nevertheless, sometimes I get irritated that it has to be underlined which sex you are. I hope there will be a time when the sex of an artist isn’t the discriminating factor. I hope everyone would concentrate on the music, not the looks or sex of the dj/producer.
6. What would be your dream gig?
In Berghain! Jesus, no. I love the club though but I think I would not have the guts to play a gig there.  Hmm, since I love underground more than big techno clubs i think my dream gig would be at a 90’s inspired proper rave underground party in a huge abandoned warehouse with a powerful PA, huge smoke machines, beautiful visuals, strobes and loads of good DJs, VJs and likeminded people. 

7. What’s coming up next for you?

We will celebrate the first birthday party of Yoga Ug in September at Merikerho which is really cool! There’s also something special coming up in November but I can’t yet tell more on that since it is not official yet. I’ll update things on my artist page at Facebook so stay tuned! 

Recommendations of something inspiring for this autumn transition?

I find the transition between summer and autumn very inspirational and I usually get more energy to immerse myself in new things. There is a certain calmness in that feeling when the summer is officially over and it’s time to focus on the coming winter and the projects that come with it. For gaining inspiration and energy for winter I recommend to go to see a good movie (at Riviera Cinema Bar of course!), make an excursion to a city near you (Turku or Tampere are my favourites of the major ones), eat good food, drink good wine and enjoy autumn colors. This has also been an epic year partywise since some of the biggest techno organisations are turning 25 years this year. So if you are planning an autumn trip to Turku, I recommend you not to miss the XXV party of X-Rust organization at Kåren in October. X-Rust is one of the most legendary techno organizations in Finland so the party will certainly be off the hook!

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BRUJASPACE

So ended my first ever official residency here in Helsinki. Actually it was my first arts residency ever anywhere. I’m a bit late bloomer with these things. Usually I just go somewhere on my own, meet people, start to collabo with them and pray to God some money will do appearance on some point. Some how it has always worked out but I feel that these already existing and organised residencies serve a purpose. It really feels different to concentrate on something in a specific space that is designed just to do that. And nothing has to finish there, you don’t need to reach any point just yet. You can just try, fail, learn, experiment, gather people to share and try out your findings if you feel like it or just sit with your ideas until they start to move you and develop – all at their own time.

Two weeks went by in a heart beat. But I already knew when I started the working period what will be the stuff I’ll focus on now. I just needed the space to land my spaceship. So I named the space as “BRUJASPACE” and I think I’ll continue with that name ’cause it really resonates with me. It’s a space where some sort of magic is happening. And so it did. I got to present my first showing of a solo work that I’m currently busy with “FEMALIEN | experiment I” and it was scary. I haven’t done any solo work since 2013 and in Finland after I graduated as choreographer. The night before the demo I almost called it off. I was sure I didn’t have the guts to go through it. It was too late to cancel so I just had to suck it up and do it. And I’m glad I did. I think this one really might be something special. The creature I created in that space was something else. From all the energies I’ve got to channel for a performance or for some other purpose this was easily my favourite one. I’m happy I get to continue with the creature this autumn some more – next in Berlin, then in Norway, after that in Urbanapa Helsinki again and then NYC. The premier of the work will be in December at Forum Box, Helsinki. I hope to see you somewhere on the road and share this experiment with you!

I also got to facilitate a spoken word and sound evening and I named it “LOITSUKLUBI” like club for spells & magick. The idea started with my dear friend over the phone – we both love words and writing. She is a poet and we were dreaming about a night with raw and honest words, maybe some techno, definitely wine. So the concept was born. And last Wednesday the BRUJASPACE was filled with amazing and talented dreamers. I was so overly inspired and moved by the energy people brought in to the space. There is definitely magic in sharing words, in sharing stories and this human experience. It’s like sharing life. The connection was real. We need these kinds of spaces and places where people can come and remember that they belong. We are all human, we are all magic.

And speaking of magic, last but definitely not least I got to facilitate the space for some serious movement alchemy! In my practice I’ve started to use this task called “alchemy of the body” where I play with energies – channeling and molding them with movement and let them create inner worlds to travel in. I think dance and moving in general is kind of like the work of an alchemists. When you move energy flows and changes. To get very specific with that work gets you even more in tune what is going on inside your bodymindsoul and how you wish to mold it. How it changes and also molds you in movement. The journey with this has only just begun but I hope that soon again I get to call all the alchemists together again and play! Until then here’s some pictures from these weeks.

Thank You, Asemalabra for this opportunity! Thanks all the co-creators and participants – my fellow dreamers!

Next up Berlin – GALAXY LAB is coming to you!

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“FEMALIEN | Experiment I” Photo: Tuuti Piippo

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Alchemists at work, “Movement Magick” open space

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JULY 2018 INSPO

INSPIRATION OF THE MONTH

Every end of the month I’ll present an artist/maker/doer/thinker/concept/happening that gives me lyfe right now. I hope you’ll find something new here or something that resonates. If you have something cooking and you want to participate I’m always open for recommendations and dialogue! Sharing is caring.

JULY 2018 INSPO & LYFE GIVER:

I had the pleasure of working with this queen. She’s the capturer of the photos on this site. Visionary, multitalent and fierce are the first words that comes to mind when thinking of her and her work. I can’t get enough how she represents the art of voguing and how fearlessly she makes bodies, movement and communities visual. She has a certain kind of magick to see beyond the person she’s working with and her eye for colours is out of this world. If you haven’t heard about her yet now is the time!

Roza Coco Ahmad | dancer, choreographer, photographer, DJ

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1. Who are you and watcha doin’?
My name is Roza Ahmad aka Coco. I’m 30 years old born and raised in Finland but my roots are from Iraq, Kurdistan. I’m woman of quite many talents if i can say so LOL!
Entrepreneur, dancer, choreographer, photographer! One of my newest hobby is djing. Plus i have 9-5 day job. I wish i had more hours in a day! Too many things to do and accomplish.
2. What is your fav project that you’ve been working on or worked with recently?
My favorite project (which is still going on) so far is to take pictures of European Ballroom scene. That’s where my passion is, dancing and especially in Voguing. It gives me LYFE and that’s one of the reasons why i wan’t to give back to my community. Taking pictures of these amazing dancers gives me pure joy.
I would like to have my own exhibition some day somewhere in Europe. That is my main goal at the moment.
I also like to organize events. I’ve been actually working on couple of concepts with my husband Joni and our close friends. I really enjoy doing that too!
3. What gives you life right now?
I have to say my husband Joni gives me LYFE every single day! He supports me, inspires me and takes care of me. Without him i wouldn’t be the Roza or the Coco i am today.
Love you babes ❤
4. What are the challenges of being a ”multi-artist”?
TIME! i really enjoy everything that i do at the moment. Even my 9-5 job is something i enjoy doing. So it get’s quite hard sometimes cuz when i finnish with my ”real job” i feel like my second shift starts immediately. So basically i work 12h from monday till saturday. Too bad i’m getting old and my body sometimes disagrees with me 😉 so sometimes i’ll have to rest in between. You can call me Ms. workaholic 😉 Okei!! Bye!
5. What would be your dream work in the future?
If i could choose my dream job would definitely be something relatated with Nike. I know it’s totally different from what i’m doing at the moment but I’ve kinda always wanted to work with them but never had the opportunity or the time to do actually something about it.
But if i get back to this reality ahah 🙂 I would love to continue doing these things that i’m doing at the moment and meet a lot of amazing people on the way. I’m really happy where i am at the moment.
6. Any music/podcast/book/happenings recommendations for the summer?
Here are some events i’ll be attending this summer =)

 

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In-between-maailma

Välitilat.

Aktiivisten eteenpäin singahdusten väliset hetket, kun korvissa piippaa ja tutuksi käynyt ääni pään sisällä käskee hiljaisuuteen, laittamaan akut laturiin ja olemaan vaan, itsekseen, sisuksissaan. Viime vuodet olen opetellut rakastamaan niitä hetkiä. Tai ehkä kyse on enemmän opettelusta tunnistamaan – viime vuodet olen opetellut tunnistamaan niitä hetkiä. Ja tuo tunnistaminen on kuin vaivihkaa hurmannut minut. Ylikuormittumisen ja levon väli on ainakin itselleni ollut elefantin kokoinen sokeapiste. Vasta viime vuodet, loppuun palamiset, uupumiset ja elämän isot heittelyt ovat herkistäneet moiselle ja vetäneet jälleen polvilleen.

En sanoisi, että vieläkään masteroin tunnistusprosessia saati sitten itse lepoa, mutta huomaan omistavani jo useamman työkalun hahmottaessani akun viivan vajonneen pieneksi punaiseksi juovaksi ja hälyttävän hiljaa jossain sielun sisäompeleissa. Työkalujen kerääminen elon tiellä on ollut melkoinen episodi itsessään. Varmasti usean niistä olisi oppinut vähemmälläkin synnyttämisellä. Annan itselleni nuo anteeksi, koska olen kuullut että sekin on yksi “self-care” -työkalu. Monelta farssilta olisi varmaan selvitty jos jokaisessa opinahjossa olisi “self-care” -kurssikokonaisuus, jossa kymmenen käskyn tapaan opeteltaisiin ulkoa, mitä ihmisen on hyvä tehdä ja olla tekemättä itsensä kanssa selvitäkseen hengissä täällä.

Olen tullut siihen tulokseen, että meillä on käytössä tietyn verran energiaa ja sitä voi jakaa vain sen verran kuin sitä on. Voi yrittää jakaa enemmän kuin omistaa, mutta sitä kai kutsutaan velassa elämiseksi ja ne narraatiot harvoin päättyvät onnelliseen loppuun. Niin kuin tuosta taloustiedeorientoituneesta alusta voi päätellä, olen alkanut ajatella energiaa valuuttana. Joskus vaihdossa saa takaisin enemmän, toisinaan vähemmän. Joskus antaessa energiaa siitä ei saa takaisin säiettäkään ja joskus, kun tähdet ovat asettuneet oikeaan asentoon, saa takaisin enemmän kuin olisi osannut edes pyytää.

Olen huomannut, että olen itse vastuussa kuinka energiaani jakelen. Elämäni “make it rain!” -periodien jälkeen olen tullut tarkemmaksi, omapitäväisemmäksi. Lataushetkistä on tullut elinehtoisia. Niistä on tullut myös jatkumo, jonkin intensiivisen elämän kanssa vuorovaikuttamisen jälkeinen seuraamus. Tietyin väliajoin, kun on tietyn verran energiaa enää taskussa, menen “näytönsäästäjä” -tilaan melkein itsestään. Tuon jatkumon kanssa jumpatessa kulunee varmaan tämä elämä ja seuraavakin. Hämmennystä edelleen herättää tilanteet, joiden jälkeen tai joiden sysäyksestä tipahdan tai itse aktiivisesti marssin in-between-maailmaan. En osaa ennakoida niitä vieläkään, mutta sen tiedän, että toiminnan ja intensiivisen “energian vaihdon” jälkeen on lataamisen aika. Ja tästä syklistä syntyy jatkumo. Muutama hauska huomio siitä:

Ei tule aktiivista ja dynaamista vaihetta jos ei pysähdy keräilemään välillä.

Mitä intensiivisempi aktiivinen vaihe, sitä kokonaisvaltaisempi tarve keräilylle.

Mitä intensiivisempi aktiivinen vaihe, sitä enemmän luulee ettei ole vielä keräilyn aika.

Mitä intensiivisempi aktiivinen vaihe, sitä enemmän luule, ettei se vielä riittänyt.

Mitä intensiivisempi aktiivinen vaihe, sitä paremmin oppii valehtelemaan itselleen ettei tarvitse keräilyä, eikä lepoa, eikä paljon mitään muutakaan – mitä todellakin juuri silloin tarvitsisi.

Keräilyä ei voi tehdä kukaan minun puolestani.

Keräilyä ei voi tehdä ennen kuin myöntyy sen tarpeelle.

Keräily vaatii pysähtymisen.

Pysähtyminen vaatii tilan ja ajan.

En pysty ennakoimaan minkälaisia prosesseja käynnistyy pysähtymisen aikana, en voi jouduttaa lepoa, enkä tilaa jossa pysähdyn.

Pysähtyminen ei toimi ellen anna itselleni lupaa pysähtyä. Luvan anto toimii kuin käden ojennuksena itseltä itselle. Se on välittämisen muoto. Muistutus siitä, että olen itse vastuussa itseni priorisoinnista ja minulla on väliä, minulle itselleni.

In-between-maailmassa toimii omat lainalaisuudet. Niihin myöntymiseen on mennyt aikaa, egoa ja energiaa. Siinä vaihdossa tosin olen saanut takaisin moninkertaisesti enemmän kuin lopulta suostuin antamaan, joten worth it.

Viimeisimmän vuoden aikana In-between-maailmasta on tullut minulle toinen koti. Se koti, jonka osoitetta ei kukaan muu tiedä. Se koti, jonka oven laitan lukkoon ja jossa ei wifi toimi. Ja kun jatkan taas matkaa on päässä enemmän tilaa, laukussa muutama uusi työkalu olemassa olemiseen ja elämän sekä itsen kanssa diilaamiseen, kasa uusia ideoita ja askel soi valmiina uuteen kieppiin levollisena. Rauha tulee siitä, kun saa olla yhtä aikaa matkalla ja perillä.

 

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“In between”, Helsinki, Finland 2018

Photo: Tuuti Piippo

 

Dear Haters

En tiedä muista, mutta itse työstän menneisyyttäni lähes maanisella otteella. Johtunee siitä, että koen työstämisen mahdollistavan eteenpäin menemisen keveämpänä. Olen huomannut, että jos jotain jätän huomiotta, en suinkaan “päästä irti” käsillä olevasta vaan unohdan sen siksi aikaa, että asia nousee esille jossain uudessa muodossa – tilanteessa, ihmisessä, kohtaamisessa.

Menneisyyden käsittely on varmaan ihan perus asiaa aikuiselle ihmiselle ja luultavasti myös vielä vähän vähemmän aikaa täällä olleelle jengillekin. Yhtä lailla kuin sinun, minunkin menneisyyteni on sotkuinen. On vaikea kuvitella, että kukaan täällä olisi vetänyt puhtailla papereilla, pelkällä hymyllä ja ruhjeitta. Osa vaan saa polvet enemmän ruvelle kuin toiset, se on yhtä aikaa siunaus ja kirous. Jostain syystä ruhjeitaan harva uskaltaa tai haluaa näyttää ulkomaailmalle, ei ennen kuin ne ovat nätisti arpeutuneet. Kukaan ei halua nähdä verissä päin rantautunutta, menneisyyden runnomaa. Juuri mikään ei ole vaivaannuttavampaa kuin eilisessä edelleen rypevä ihmisraakile. Jostain jumalan syystä kuitenkin juuri tuo tila on minusta aina ollut kaunista. Epämääräisen keskeneräinen ihmisyys. Ei se siloteltu, joka painetaan kirjoihin ja kansiin. Ei se uhriutunut, menneitä myyttejä tapaileva marttyyri voittaja vaan se vielä kesken oleva ihmisyys, jossa kaikki oleellinen tapahtuu. Se ruma, rujo, syntinen, langennut, kaoottinen, sisuksen tumma pinta. Kaikista filtteröidyistä, pseudorealistisista kuvista ja kirjoituksista sen aidon tunnistaa siitä, että se ei syytä mitään eikä ketään tilastaan. Koska ei vielä osaa. Koska on vielä kesken. Se tyytyy makaamaan paskassaan, koska ei pysty vielä muuhun. Siinä tilassa meistä jokainen on haavoittuvaa ihmislihaa ja sielua. Sitä pintaa ja sisusta, johon jokainen meistä voi samaistua. Sitä keskeneräisyyttä meissä, joka luo ihmisyyden ytimen. Meidän ytimen.

Aloin kirjoittamaan menneestä, mutta tiesin päätyväni sisuksen tummaan. Tiesin sen siksi, että mennyttä ei enää ole ja ainoa, mitä on käsillä käsiteltävänä ovat omat sisäpintojeni demonit, haavat ja ruhjeet. Ne kiljahtavat ja triggeröityvät milloin mistäkin. Herkästi voisi luulla, että jostain ulkopuolisesta. Mutta jos tässä hetkessä mikään mennyt ei ole enää konkreettista, ainoa konkreettinen mitä on, on minussa itsessäni – lienee siis aika selvää ketä ne “rakkaat vihaajat” ovat. Itse luotuja tarinan pätkiä, kuvitettuja henkilöitä, jotka joskus ehkä olivat totta, lihaa ja verta, mutta nyt ainoa henki, joka niissä pihisee, on minun antamaani, värittämääni, keksimääni. Ainoa, joka tarinaa haluaa kertoa näin ja näillä hahmoilla ja juonen käänteillä, olen minä itse. Ainoa, joka tarinaa tässä muodossaan ruokkii energiallaan, olen minä itse. Kaikki muut asianosaiset ovat jo jatkaneet matkaa. Kaikki mennyt on toden totta jo mennyt.

On hurjaa huomata, että olen itse ainoa aktiivinen tekijä menneeni käskirjoittajatiimissä. Olen itse sekä ohjaaja, tuottaja että käsikirjoittaja. Minun kädestäni ovat saaneet hengen jokainen tarinan roolihenkilö. Ne ehkä vielä joskus olivat oikeita tilanteita, kohtaamisia ja ihmisiä, mutta eivät enää. Koska mennyt tässä hetkessä on pelkkää kertomusta. Parhaimmillaan Oscarin arvoista kerrontaa, mutta kerrontaa silti. Tämän hetken todellisuuteen ei mahdu sekuntiakaan eilisestä, eikä sekuntiakaan huomisesta. Ainoa mitä on, on itsekirjoitetut ja väritetyt tarinat, muistot ja mielikuvat, haaveet, pelot ja toiveet. Huomion arvoista lienee, että jos olen itse enää ainoa henkilö kirjoitustiimistä ja tuotantoryhmästä, lienen myös ainoa aktiivinen osapuoli ja ainoa henkilö, joka voi vielä puuttua juonenkäänteisiin. Ainoa, joka tarinaa voi muuttaa, kirjoittaa uusiksi ja ehkä lopulta vielä luovuttaa sen isompaan virtaan. Kynä on minun kädessäni, halusin tai en. Niin usein sitä luulee, että ulkoisella todellisuudella olisi jokin aktiivinen toiminnan funktio omaan sisäiseen maailmaan, mutta joka kerta asiaan sukeltaessa/kompastuessa huomaan, että peilihän se vaan. Peilihän se vaan.

Joten, armas vihaaja, joka tänään taas jostain triggeröidyit ja vihlaisit sisustaani, näen sut. Sua ei oikeasti enää olekaan, mutta haamuksi olet jäänyt johonkin kohtaan kehoani asumaan. Voit jatkaa matkaasi, sinut on tunnistettu. Ei sinua oikeasti enää olekaan.

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The moment I released something old to make room for something new to rise. Like a ritual, a rite. Espoo 2018.

Photo: Roza Coco Ahmad

MUAH: Karoliina Viinikari

Jacket: Tuomas Kristian

FEMMEU

Lately I’ve found myself working with feminine energy and questions that rises from the topic. I’ve been spending time just trying to recognise that energy in myself and in my surroundings. I’ve made some sense practices and tried to made some connections between my personal bodily sensations and what I know and what is written about the subject through out time. And let’s make it clear in the first place and articulate this before I continue any further that what I mean by “feminine energy” in the context of this text and in my up coming performative research is not gender based. In this context it has nothing do with the sex of a person – I’m concentrating only in that energy part. I’ve come to realise that feminine and masculine as a life force are still used in our society and how we as a collective talk of the subject very limitedly. It’s almost always somehow connected to the gender and for that it is made political instantly. We talk fairly lightly about “divine feminine” in exclusive women-circles and “fragile masculine” when we want to point out patriarchal constructions or results of such (usually using alleged male examples) and so it’s almost always somehow based on “men and women”. That gives very little room for any other interpretations of the whole subject with all its layers and tones let alone any other possibilities of existing as an fluid “energy being”.

Why I’m interested of it right now might be purely personal but I’ve seen it spill also in my work as an artist and also in my work as a facilitator. I’m working on a new solo piece (dance and performance art based) which will be the first part of a trilogy. The whole trilogy revolves around this same question. What is femininity? How does it emerge in all of us regardless of our gender, body history, status or spiritual beliefs? What does that certain kind of energy feel like? How do we mould it as humans? How does it translate to us and how does it translate in our human experience? Codes our bodies and thought systems? And what does it evoke in us?

Until now I have zero answers and gazillion questions. That is the best ground to plant new seeds. Always when this happens –  when the questions starts to pour in – I know that I’m touching something relevant. That there is something to dig in, even though it would be only a feeling. That is intuition at its best. They say intuition is a feminine power in all of us no matter the gender. Who ever “they” are I think they’re right. Intuition surely is a super power. How to harness that power is the tricky part. For me writing, sound and movement are the most natural ways to get in contact with that power. Today I chose writing. And like with this intuitive blog post, which in my mind started out as a totally different topic, I try to gather that power also in my up coming research. The research will be performative because I’m working with movement, body and presentation in it. The first public gathering of this research will be in August so if you’re interested to come and see where I am at with this then and if you feel like it might resonate stay tuned and join!

As a facilitator I’m also organising a workshop in this heartful, urban festival, Magnesia Festival on 3rd of August and I named the workshop “DIVINITYOGA”. For me the content of the workshop is finding new perspectives to move and feel the body moving in a basic bodymind -movement. How to embody and mould energy in movement? What kind of energy are you carrying through movements and with that through the day? Can you change it? Does it need to change? Can you mould it, tap into it? What kind of emotions it might evoke? Can you release it if it feels heavy or stagnant? Where does your intuition lie when you move? What actually moves you? In this workshop my own research of this energy theme is from the perspective of the moving body. And by that I invite all bodies to join. If you have a body feel free to participate. ‘Cause when our bodies move everything in us move with it. For me that was a huge revelation. When I get my body in the state of a flow, all the thoughts and emotions that are for what ever reason stuck starts to move with the moving body! It’s deeply empowering. To realise that you have the power to get to the ground unknown, you get to the ground sacred – divine even – where all these hidden connections lie. I want to travel there. This practice might be one possible ride for that journey. A spaceship if you will. A tool to navigate inside to the hidden nooks of your inner energy system.

It’s funny how this text evolved. My first impulse was to write about boobs because I was lying on the floor in a sun made spot naked and I felt that I should do this more often and maybe write a song about it. Then I got up and started writing a blog post instead of a song. Didn’t quite get to the boob part of the thought. Well I guess something more relevant was on the way. Mind is a funny thing. Maybe next time it’ll be more about boobs.

Boobs or not, have a lovely Sunday!

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(ALLWOMANKIND)

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This is my “femme and fierce” -pose. I wanted to embody the feeling of a power that feminine energy gave me the day we were shooting this photo. Espoo, 2018

Capturer of this moment: Roza Coco Ahmad

MUAH: Karoliina Viinikari